Finding out how t'be open.

[LupumLibertæ]

Hey, everyone. My name's Ben. I'm trying to find a way to be open about this side of myself. I've been dealing with it for a while, and after a while, have whole-heartedly accepted it as a part of me. That was a while ago. The first time I hung out with my closest friend, I told him about this side, and beyond jokes about me saying I'm naturally flamboyant, he's been cool about it. I don't really remember if I've ever told my close female friend, and I'm pretty sure I haven't told my other good male friend.

I don't really see myself as a conspicuous heel-wearer. I've always loved having long hair, and do wear ribbon in it sometimes, but excluding formal events, I tend to wear pretty average clothing like jeans, band tees, and the like. The only thing I really want to do is include my one good pair of round-toed stilettos in my outfit. Actually, that pair was damaged when a strap broke, and I'm not too fond of visiting a shoe repair shop for it. The current problems that I'm facing are:

- Telling the 'rents, as well as the siblings (although my brother would make fun of me as he does with everyone, he's cool with individualism, and my sister is going for a Ph.D with an emphasis on women, gender, and sexuality.).
- Telling the close circle of friends.
- Getting a new pair of all-black stilettos much like my current favorite pair (they're made by a company called Dreams, black & white platforms, about 4 or 5 inches).

What advice can you guys give t'help me out?

P.S. I think I know where I'd first go out in public with my stilettos. There's a nearby mall that I sometimes go to that has a lot of gothpunks, emos and what mixed with the regular mall crowd. It looks like the best setting I'll be getting.

[Nigel]

Originally Posted by LupumLibertæ

Hey, everyone. My name's Ben. I'm trying to find a way to be open about this side of myself. I've been dealing with it for a while, and after a while, have whole-heartedly accepted it as a part of me. That was a while ago. The first time I hung out with my closest friend, I told him about this side, and beyond jokes about me saying I'm naturally flamboyant, he's been cool about it. I don't really remember if I've ever told my close female friend, and I'm pretty sure I haven't told my other good male friend.

I don't really see myself as a conspicuous heel-wearer. I've always loved having long hair, and do wear ribbon in it sometimes, but excluding formal events, I tend to wear pretty average clothing like jeans, band tees, and the like. The only thing I really want to do is include my one good pair of round-toed stilettos in my outfit. Actually, that pair was damaged when a strap broke, and I'm not too fond of visiting a shoe repair shop for it. The current problems that I'm facing are:

- Telling the 'rents, as well as the siblings (although my brother would make fun of me as he does with everyone, he's cool with individualism, and my sister is going for a Ph.D with an emphasis on women, gender, and sexuality.).
- Telling the close circle of friends.
- Getting a new pair of all-black stilettos much like my current favorite pair (they're made by a company called Dreams, black & white platforms, about 4 or 5 inches).

What advice can you guys give t'help me out?

P.S. I think I know where I'd first go out in public with my stilettos. There's a nearby mall that I sometimes go to that has a lot of gothpunks, emos and what mixed with the regular mall crowd. It looks like the best setting I'll be getting.

Its a good question, one that you wont find the exact answer to here as everybody's circumstances are different and we (the other members here) don't know what your situation is.

However, I am sure there are some good experiences here that might guide you in the right direction, others that have 'come out' probably feel that it was the best thing they did as they can now do as they feel they can now wear what ever they want, when ever the want.

I remember being in the company of another male heel wearer's wife one day and she just dismissed the whole thing as 'his silly little thing' so she was not really accepting, more she just tolerated it a bit, not a lot.

Only you will know if it will change your nearest and dearest's attitude toward you and whether they will be cool with you doing what you want to do. Are they always gossiping and bitching about what each other are doing or are they just pleased the others are doing well? that might give you a good idea if you should be open with them.

Let me know what you think.